You can see my in your dreams
by KawaiiRurek
Summary: Everybody was afraid of Drake. But nobody knew what scared him. Drake was afraid of himself. Drake was afraid of Orsay, because she could see his inner horror. R&R.


My first Gone fanfic. And the first Drake/Orsay fanfic on FanfictionNet :) At the same time it's my first longer story, I used to write only drabbles. Please, comment! If I will have comments I'm going to write second chapter. So let me know if you wait for it or not :)

P.S. English isn't my first language so if there is any beta reader who wants to help I would be happy :D

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Chapter I: Drake

When I look in the mirror I can't see old Drake. That arrogant guy with an evil grin. What I see now? The wan self-parody, scrawny and with dark circles under the eyes. Someone who lost… It's impossible, I couldn't become someone like that! I look in the mirror again, I'm furious. So that is how others see me... Others, who try to tell me what to do. Someday ... someday I'll show them who is the real boss. Caine's mad anyway, without him Diana wouldn't have anything to say. Yes, I'll be the head of this swamp, everyone will know that they should be afraid of me! Only me... But all the plans fall apart like a house of cards when I see my reflection. I see the crazy fool who tries to achieve something impossible. I feel anger, like a bomb which is about to explode. I use a whip that once was my right hand and I watch the pieces of glass, scattered around the room.

"It's not over." - I say to myself.

I slam the door to the bathroom and lay on the bed in my room. In fact nothing changed here since the beginning of the FAYZ. Everything is clean as usual. The only difference is the collection of various weapons, gathered in the most visible location. My trophies. I look at my gun, caliber of ten millimeters, perhaps not as dangerous as the rest of the weapons, but it's always better to have something on the bedside table. Moreover, even without carrying a gun I'm able to defend, however I love to keep gun in my hand and feel the recoil with each shot.

Lying in my bed I think I should finally fall asleep. However recently I have sleeping problems. The first reason is hunger, but it came later. Earlier I couldn't sleep at night because of the terrible pain, coming together with the memory of losing my hand. I woke up screaming, throwing on the bed. Yes Sam, someday you will pay for it, I'll kill you in the cruelest and slowest way. Satisfied, I try to sleep, but I feel that it will be another sleepless night. The next problem that hinders sleep is the strange girl from today, the one who sees dreams... I won't sleep knowing that someone will be in my head. It was too humiliating, nobody should see those terrifying nightmares, full of pain, so realistic that I remember every detail. After something like that everyone would think that I am weak, someone who can't even control his thoughts, let alone people. I don't want anyone to know me from this side so I feel anxiety knowing that she is here. I could just kill her, but I know that Caine would never allow me to do it. I can do it when I'll gain the power. Why didn't I kill her before, when I had the opportunity? Was it just a desperate attempt to show them that I'm not crazy? I don't know. I have no idea why I brought her here. She is just another reason to worry. Anyway, what can she do? No one will know what she saw, after all she can't even talk normally with others. I can't believe that these innocent people are still in FAYZ... Even if she saw something it would stay just between us. I like the way she is afraid of me, I only have to "convince" her to not say anything. I want to see the fear in her eyes. I start to feel sleepy, so I stop thinking about it and immerse in my dreams...

_I see a small red room. I feel as if I was sitting in a box. Red walls appear to be overwhelming. But this is a lovely tone of red, the blood looks the same. Now I notice a mirror in front of me. But the reflection doesn't belong to me. Although the face, blond hair, cold eyes are the same, I know that I can't look like that._ _Someone who resigned, someone who gave up long time ago, someone who would never achieve anything. But the figure in the mirror sits exactly in the same position as me, has the same expression of horror written on his face._ _I want to get up, get away, but I don't know where. The reflection puts a bloody hand on the panes of the mirror, although I'm not doing anything like that._ _The character begins to write on the glass with his bloody finger, now I notice that his right hand is completely normal, just like before. I look at mine._ _It is like before, a normal hand, normal fingers, something what can't harm anyone. I feel terrible cold when I look at the letters on the mirror._

_"My name is Drake Merwin"_

_"That's not true.", I can only say._

_But I know it's true. This is who I am inside. Weak. Beaten. Useless._

_No. I can't think about it, I just have to hide it in the deepest recesses of my mind._

_The character continues to write. I jump up from my seat and walk to the mirror._ _I start to scream and beat it with all my strength, I want it to fall into pieces but not even a crack appears. The boy finishes writing and smiles sarcastically._

_"My name is Drake Merwin and I want to die, because I'm too weak to live"_

_With horror I look at these words._

_"No! Noooo! Stop", I shout like mad, scratching the panes of mirror._ _Finally I fall helplessly, constantly repeating "no" in a trembling voice. Then in the mirror I notice reflection of other person. The girl. She looks at me with frightened eyes._

_"Why...", I start, but then I feel the icy grip of the fingers on my neck._ _The fingers emerge from the mirror as if it is not any impediment. I feel the pain. I want to get rid of those icy hands, but I can't even touch them._ _The figure begins to rise out from the mirror, looking at me with satisfaction and joy._ _Do I look like that when I kill somebody? Did my victims see exactly the same thing before they died?_

_"Help", I plead weakly, my eyes turn toward the girl._ _She looks at me stunned, unable to move. Then gives me her shaky hand, trying to set me free from the deadly embrace._

_But at this moment everything changes. I don't feel the fingers on my neck. Only the water filling up my lungs. I drift in the red ocean. Ocean of blood._ _Struggling, I try to escape. But I can't. I want to breathe, but I can't._ _Should I just wait for the end, feeling the rusty taste? It's getting darker and I feel the hands that pull me deeper, deeper ..._

I wake up screaming, breathing desperately. I don't know what I do, I just reach for a gun and shoot the monster which I still have before my eyes. The cry from the corridor pulls me out of dream hallucinations. In darkness I see my room. And the bullet hole in the door.


End file.
